Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Expatriate Episode 8: A Hard Days Night

Wapi was in a foul mood. It was raining and it was cold. Very cold. He drove into the parking area of the estate where he lived and as usual for a Sunday, there were no spaces available. Every Sunday evening these Adejobi's would hold a service in the Tenants Association Hall and fill all the parking spaces. It really pissed Wapi off. Why couldn't they hold their services elsewhere? He was determined not to park outside on the main road, so he pulled up and waited for someone to leave.

All Wapi wanted was to get indoors, take a hot bath then maybe get some food, but most of all he wanted to get to bed. He'd left home at six this morning in order to catch a train to Watford in time for a company training day. Being a Financial Services Consultant he was always either working or attending meetings and seminars to do with work. One of his least favourite aspectsof the job was the frequent scheduling of courses ans seminars on Sundays. Although unafraid of hard work, Wapi had sought permission to miss this particular session and stay home with his girlfriend Marva who was due to deliver their first child in just over a week. Permission had not been denied, just granted in such a way that made him realise it was in his best interest to turn up.

It had seemed a pleasant day when Wapi had left home in the morning. So much so that he'd left his overcoat in the back of his car at the station in London and boarded the train in just his business suit. Several hours later when leaving the training centre, it was much colder. He'd had to wait a half hour for a bus in Watford, and a further twenty minutes for a train once at the station, and the cold had cut right through him. His ears fingers and toes felt brittle with cold. The worst though was that he had two cavities he'd not yet taken to the dentist. The northerly wind had discovered these and taken up residence in them. Wapi wished himself dead. He cursed himself for breaking the cardinal riule: "Don't ever trust the weather in England."

A lady opened the door to her hatchback and got in. Wapi watched dispassionately as she struggled to get out of the space. When she'd gone, he parked and went indoors. The relief was enormous. Whatever he could say about council estates, Wapi was all for the efficient heating system in this one. The heating, and Marva's warm embrace, did much to combat the chill in his bones.

"Go to bed Wapi." He opened his eyes. last he could remember he'd bathed and snuggled up to Marva Plus (as he called her ever since her "bump" became obvious) on the sofa, and she'd been telling him how excited her mother was about her forthcoming grandchild. "Grandma" had spent a small fortune on things for the baby and would have induced birth now if she had her own way, such was her impatience. Wapi had meant to listen. In fact he had been listening and had no clue at which point he'd dozed off or for how long. He didn't argue. He hauled himself off to bed leaving Marva watching an episode of Prisoner Cell Block H.

Wapi had barely been sleeping half an hour when Marva eased into bed beside him. He'd regained enough consciousness to make room for her and was heading rapidly back to dreamland. "Wapi..." Her voice was gentle but there was a note in it that brought him wide awake instantly. His head cleared and he knew this was all systems go. He got up and switched on the light. marva got out of bed again and stood looking a little bewildered. The bottom half of her nightie was soaked as was part of the bed where she'd lain. "Your...you..." croaked Wapi. "My waters broke," Marva reassured him. Wapi dived for the wardrobe emerging with Marva's packed weekend case. It had been ready since their ante-natal class on preparedness. "How are you feeling? Hurry up." Wapi was guiding Marva towards the door. "Wapi wait. Let me get out of this wet thing."

Wapi was anxious to get going but remembered the advice his friend Glenroy had given him. "Man, when they are in labour, you weanna keep your mouth shut son. Just keep it shut." Wapi respected this advice as it came from a man who, though younger than him, had already fathered four children. He might have been less impressed had he realised that Glenroy had been nowhere near the maternity ward for any of those four births.

Wapi didn't really notice whether there was traffic on the roads. He had no fear of being pulled over for speeding tonight. What cop could possibly ticket him under such circumstances? During the journey he went over in his mind all they'd learned and discussed over the last few months. He and Marva had been to all the ante-natal classes and the male supporting role had been greatly emphasised. They were both keen on as natural a birth as possible, with as little technology as was safe. As he drove, he'd looked over at Marva and ask, "Are you feeling ok?" or "What's happening now?" or "Why are you so quiet.?" Marva almost felt sorry for him. Almost. "Men,' she thought. "God knew what he was doing by limiting their contribution to the conception part." They had no clue at this stage of proceedings. She hoped he would calm down when he saw his daughter. Wapi would prefer a boy, Marva a girl but neither felt too strongly about it. They had both agreed to avoid scans though so they wouldn't know until the child was born.

Labour itself seemed a tremendous letdown for Wapi. The adrenalin that had kept him going began to lose effect by hour four. By 5AM he was tired, frustrated and irritable. He knew Marva wasn't prolonging things delivberately but he sure wished she'd get a move on. He was sure that if childbirth had been a male function, men would have evolved more efficient ways of doing it.

Marva had now begun to feel a great deal of discomfort and was making alot of noise. Wapi heard the midwife offer "something to ease the pain." He had felt quite useless throughout and saw an opportunity to be of service. He surprised himself with the boldness with which he approached the medic, " We've discussed that and we don't want anythi..." "Drugs, give me the damn drugs!" The words were coming from Marva but the voice didn't sound like hers. It was a voice that brooked no argument. Wapi remembered Glenroy's advice and kept his mouth shut.

The medical staff now seemed to have escalated their activity around Marva. Wapi was up by her head, holding her hand. Actually it was Marva holding his hand. Very tightly. Wapi decided it was not the right time to complain of his discomfort, and took the pain like a man. Fingernails and all.

"push now! Come on push!" The midwife was calm and encouraging. "I can see the head. There's a good girl. Now push!" Marva sounded like a mad woman. Wapi could not believe the colourful language that was coming out of her. He was embarrassed for her in front of all these people. He was surprised that none of them batted an eyelid.

The midwife raised herself from her working position with a parcel in her hands and addressed Wapi. Wapi felt faint. "Would you like to cut your daughters cord Mr. Johnson?" Wapi nodded and tried to answer but his voice wasn't working. he cut the cord and felt fainter still. He flopped into a chair at the side breathing heavily. The medics were still busy and Marva was still cursing. Wapi was puzzled. Wasn't the child born already? The midwife emerged again. With another parcel. Wapi passed out where he sat.

When he came to, the medics were still busy at one end of Marva. At the other she wore a big if exhausted smileand had a child in each arm. Meet your daughter Mr. Johnson," she said, "and meet your son." "Well done, " Wapi said insufficiently, "Thanks. Hello Taiwo, hello Kehinde. Una kabor." Then the tears welled in his eyes.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Expatriate Episode 7: Alarm Bells

Wapi looked across at his passenger in a silent rage. Ever since he'd become a car owner he'd found himself being treated as a community resource. Suddenly it seemed no Sierra Leonean could undertake any journey or outing without a lift. At times he found himself taking someone right across London when he preferred to be resting or taking himself off elsewhere. Otherwise he was transporting large pots of soup or large aunties or both, from house to wedding church to reception.

Todays unwelcome passenger was Stella. She had an attractive figure and an instinct for clothes that emphasised her attributes, but could never completely disguise the "me first" attitude her eyes delivered. It was this exploitative streak that was the cause of Wapi's ire. She had used the extended family argument to manipulate Wapi into this trip. 'Aunty Koso. Bo yu sabi am yes," she'd insisted, in a voice at once imploring and condemning. "When you people get to England you feel too important to put yourselves out for fambul any more. No ajo. Just like the British. Una jomp na wata en ton fish."

Wapi was neither entirely convinced by her argument nor embarrassed bye her accusations. He had simply realised that the conversation was unlikely to end until he succumbed. So here he was at 5AM on a Sunday heading to the airport with Stella all comfortable and smug in his front passenger seat. "Una lek motoka lek Inglish dog," he thought, glancing sideways at her. He remembered the warm bed he'd left on this his only day off. Right now it contained his girlfriend Marva who in turn contained their unborn child. Right now what ithat bed most definitely did not contain was Wapi. That pissed him off. Oh yeah, that pissed him right off.

Wapi pulled onto the forecourt of a gas station. "You're paying for the petrol," he told Stella plainly. "I'm sure she's your aunty not mine." "I didn't bring any cash Wapi. I was planning to use a cash machine at the airport." Wapi exited and slammed the door shut. His tank was almost completely empty and he had not bothered to get cash either, having been sure that Stella would have at least made provision for that. He counted his loose change. It amounted to a few pence short of 5 pounds. At least it would get them to the airport. He would have to make sure SHE bought some at the airport gas station. The rest of the journey was silent. Although Wapi had been enjoying the reggae music from the pirate station on the car radio, so had Stella. In his unspoken anger at her, he'd not switched it back on since they left the gas station and Stella even with all her faults, had too much sense to reach for the dial herself.

Hanging around the arrivals lounge was always fatiguing but particularly so this early in the morning. Wapi was irritated and impatient. The flight had the usual delay but the number had finally appeared on the arrivals board. The waiting crowd collectively watched the status change from LANDED to BGGAGE IN HALL. As usual there were plenty of familiar faces milling around waiting for the flight from home. One by one their faces would light up with recognition, relatives and friends hugged warmly, and they'd be off bidding hasty goodbyes to those still waiting for their passengers. Wapi kept his eye on Stella as he was sure he wouldn't recognise aunty Koso if she ran over him driving a bus. Wapi left Stella and went to find one of those dreaded and uncomfortable airport seats. Even though they made his "wase sawa'" it was better than standing at this point. He settled down hoping not to be disturbed until this aunty Koso emerged. He could see that Stella was now approaching people that had arrived on the same flight asking whether they knew her aunt and whether she'd been on the flight. He closed his eyes to disguise the fact that he was awake.

It was funny. He had never had any clear thoughts about children. he'd always felt he would have them, but hadn't ever got round to expectations of when. However, with Marva this close to delivery he was really warming to the idea. It had taken a while to overcome his initial shock especially his concerns about finances, but as the weeks went byhe found himself enveloped in a welcome euphoria. This translated into a new energy and optimism that spread to all aspects of his life. He was sure he loved Marva and the thought of her carrying their child filled him with a sense of...of...well he didn't really know but it was a nice feeling nevertheless.

An urgent tap on the shoulder interrupted his reverie. "Listen," it was Stella, " The airport tannoy repeated, "Will Miss Karen Cochrane meeting Mrs Koso Thorpe, please come to the immigration point." "That's me," Stella explained to a confused Wapi. "I used my flatmates name to invite aunty Koso because she has a British passport. Mi pepa dem no korekt." She took a bogus British Birth certificate from her bag, handed the bag to Wapi and set off towards immigration. Wapi said "Hmmm..." but was unable to elaborate as Stella was already gone. he watched her speak to a security officer whom she then followed beyond the barrier. His instincts were wide awake now, his eyes taking in all movements around him. he paced nervously trying not to look suspicious but felt as if he had a huge spotlight shining on him. He went back to his seat and looked in the bag Stella had handed him. He wanted to know what he was carrying. Apart from her personal items, there was another British Birth Certificate in a third name and 370 pounds in cash. he thought momentarily of her lack of cash at the gas station. "What was she up to, stupid girl?" Still he waited, even more nervously caught between his urge to be reliable and gentlemany, and his instinct to get the heck away from what smelled like trouble.

All the other people from the Salone flight were gone. Several later flights had cleared, and an inordinate amount of time had passed. Wapi knew something must be seriously wrong. "Ding Dong." The tannoy again. "Would Mr Gabriel Johnson waiting for Mrs Koso Thorpe & Miss Karen Cochrane please come to the immigration point." By the time the message was repeating wapi was exiting the terminal and on his way to the car park. He had a feeling both Stella and aunty Koso were going to be on the next flight home to Freetown and he had no intention of joining them.



Glossary:

Fambul: Family or relatives.

Ajo: (No translation)

Jomp na wata ton fish" Literally to jump in the water and become a fish. Doing as the Romans do when in Rome. Assimilating.

Lek motoka lek inglish dog: Sierra Leonean dogs rarely get to travel by car. Their English counterparts enjoy this privilege almost constantly. Sierra Leonean people reputed to like being driven around in cars are therefore observed to be as fond of cars as English Dogs.

Wase sawa: Sore posterior.

Mi pepa dem no korekt: I have a dodgy immigration status (or no immigration status at all).

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Expatriate Episode 6: Misery

Wapi paced nervously, checking his watch every now and then. He was agitated and muttering curses under his breath. Glenroy, his friend and workmate was running late. Again. As usual. Although he was used to Glenroy's tardiness, it still annoyed him, especially when it was to do with business. "Business," Wapi thought. "I've got to do some serious business this month." It had been an expensive Christmas for Wapi, having to contribute to festivities in two households. Tola and Olivette with whom he lived, had prepared a high consumption Christmas and Wapi had contributed one third of the budget. His cousin Tola would not have insisted but neither of them dared to cross Olivette without good reason.

There had also been expenses arising at his girlfriend Marva's place. With her he'd had to contribute towards Christmas and Boxing Day meals at her mother's house. The whole extended family appeared to have shown up and they stayed from Christmas Eve. On New Year's Eve Marva played host in her small flat and they all turned up for that too. As Marva was only working part time Wapi had borne most of the cost of feeding and watering them.

When Wapi had first got his insurance job, soon after arriving in England, his main cost had been contributing to Olivette's housekeeping budget, paying his way for food and shelter. After that, he'd needed a little spending money, and had been able to save the rest. He'd begun to believe that it wasn't that difficult to make financial headway over here. With the passage of time, and settling into a more ordered life, he'd begun to discover Englands hidden costs. It seemed like everytime he made some money, an urgent bill or expense came along to swallow it up. For a start his savings had been wiped out by an unfortunate episode with his ex girlfriend, and by the purchase of a car. He now had to maintain that car in addition to his other expenses, and help Marva pay her rent. The costs were never ending. He needed to make money and it was getting harder and harder to sell decent policies in a recession.

Wapi looked at his watch again and decided that Glenroy could catch up with him at the clients house since he had all the address details. He was not going to jeopardise the chance of selling a high value policy by being late. Not even for Glenroy's sake.

Wapi accepted the chair that Ms Terious offered him and refused the drink. Looking around the living room he got the impression she could well afford a high value long term investment plan. The sort that yields benefit not only for the client but for the consultant selling the policy as well. The flat was in a respectable part of north London and whether she owned it or was renting she probably had significant disposable income.

The longer he stayed in the financial services business the more accurately Wapi found he could assess peoples financial strengths. He noticed that instead of the power dressing he had expected from this thirtysomething professional client, she was wearing a flattering housecoat.

As he was about to launch into his well rehearsed sales routine, she said, "So Mr Phillips isn't with you? Pity." "No. He was delayed at an earlier meeting," Wapi replied. "Now Ms Terious," he continued, "I'd like to begin with a few basic questions." "Just a moment. Let me move closer to you Mr Johnson. I do find going through my personal and financial details sooo...intimate. Don't you?" She slid along the sofa, closer to Wapi. By now the top part of her housecoat was open and she looked anything but business-like. Not the kind of business Wapi needed anyway. "If I'm going to reveal myself to you...my personal details and all, if you're going to secure my future, I think we ought to get to know each other better. Don't you?" She was positively crawling all over him now. Wapi was terrified. What he needed from a career woman like her was a sizeable commission rather than a lesson in the love arts. He laughed nervously and tried to back away. "Ms Terious..." "Call me Colleen." "Ms Teri...Colleeen I...I...I." He managed to wriggle free. "Mr Johnson, I refuse to do business with you unless I am satisfied...that you have my best interests at heart. Show me!" With this she removed the housecoat with a flourish to reveal the type of underwear Wapi had only seen in magazines. He wasn't persuaded to satisfy his client in the way she was demanding but she was positioned so that he could not exit the flat without her consent. He thought of a movie he'd seen recently where an obsessed female fan had held her favourite author captive and done unspeakable things to him. How was he going to escape this. Glenroy and his lateness.

Colleen was tugging at his necktie and attempting mouth to mouth resuscitation while Wapi struggled vainly to fight her off. She was gaining the upper hand when the doorbell rang. They both froze. Colleen decided to answer the door. She put on her housecoat as the bell went again, straightened the garment, then opened the door. Wapi had collected his briefcase and stepped out the moment the door opened. He almost knocked Glenroy over in his haste. Glenroy watched in amazement as his friend made haste away from the flat. When he realised tha Wapi wasn't stopping or waiting, he mumbled an apology to Ms Terious and went after his pal. Colleen just shrugged her shoulders and shut her door behind them.

After narrating events to Glenroy, Wapi headed for home. On the way, he decided that he could do with some of Marva's love and comforting. One of the things he liked about her was that she wasn't materialistic and wouldn't put extra pressure on a dregman. His scheming ex, Florence, had taken him to the cleaners so he knew things could be worse. Yes, a couple of hours with Marva would ease his stress. If he could just keep his regular expenses in check he could ride the recession a bit longer and things were bound to take an upturn eventually.

Although Marva hadn't been expecting Wapi she did seem particularly pleased to see him. She asked him to stay overnight and set about cooking him a good meal. While she cooked, Wapi took a long soak in the bath and emerged feeling far more optimistic than earlier. After all, he had a decent job despite the recession, and an understanding and caring woman, Why should he feel under pressure?

Later, as he relaxed on the sofa, chock full of rice and peas, Marva snuggled up to him. When she moved her lips to his ears he expected this was the second and more welcome attempt to seduce him today. He was taken completely by surprise when she whispered, "We're going to be parents. I found out today, I'm definitely pregnant. We're going to have a baby!"


Glossary:

Dregman: One who has no money. Skint. Broke.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Meet Pa Tamboi

My earliest days in the United States were made easier by the proximity of a Salone artistic community in northern New Jersey. From our Staten Island home it would take between 3 and 4 hours to travel to 42nd Street Station (Port Authority) by bus, ferry and train, then catch a coach to New Brunswick where friends would have me picked up at the coach station. A journey that would have taken no more than 40 minutes via the direct route (New Jersey Turnpike) if one had a car.

As a courtesy my friends would always try and arrange a ride for the return journey to save me the convoluted trek. The discussions of who would give Bra Lez a lift home would often make mention of the need to pass Pa Tamboi. I was curious as to who this Salone Pa might be. This Pa that had so established himself in the New Jersey community that he was spoken of almost as a landmark.

On one occasion, on a journey along the New Jersey Turnpike, someone said, "Pa Tamboi," and I turned quickly and asked,"Where?" They pointed to a road sign which read PERTH AMBOY. "Does Pa Tamboi live in Perth Amboy?," I wondered, before realizing that Perth Amboy in a Salone accent would sound remarkably like........Pa Tamboi. That was how I finally got to meet the mysterious Pa Tamboi.

As this blog is dedicated to creativity, it is hereby named for Pa Tamboi. Give him a wave if you ever navigate the upper reaches of the New Jersey turnpike, and tell him I said hello.
Les
05/02/06

The Expatriate Episode 5: Auctions Speak Louder Than Words

Wapi didn't mind if he never saw another bus for the rest of his life. In fact he was fed up with the entire public transport system. It had been bad enough in the summer months, waiting for ages for a bus to come along and eventually having a choice of three at the same time. Worse yet was being stuck in underground traffic jams on the tube. He would have bought himself a car months ago had his ex-girlfriend Florence not taken him to the cleaners for the best part of a grand a while back.

Anyway, here he was now at the motor auctions with a freshly saved grand to spend. Ever since he'd decided to buy, Wapi had been inundated with advice, mostly unsolicited, as to what make and model to buy. MPH, MPG, GTI etc. All this information rained down on him in an almost undecipherable mass. Even his cousin Tola who didn't actually own a car, in fact couldn't even drive one, felt qualified to offer his opinion.

The warehouse where the auction was held was not enclosed but after a while Wapi became dizzy from the exhaust fumes of the hundreds of cars going under the hammer. He looked at his watch and frowned. Glenroy was over an hour late. As usual. He who'd said, "You'd better not buy anything at the auctions without an expert," had not bothered to show up. At least not yet.

The last of the expensive or quality cars were now passing under the hammer and the auctioneer was approaching the vehicles more likely to fall within Wapi's price bracket. He determined that he was going to buy something tonight, with or without his "expert." After all, he had the information on which cars were more economical in terms of fuel consumption, insurance, and spare parts. More to the point, he wasn't going to rely on public transport a day longer. "Otutu de waya," he said out loud recalling the many freezing nights he'd spent waiting for seemingly non existent night buses, the cold overwhelming his extremities. In those situations he'd asked the age old question of many an African migrant, "What am I doing in this cold cold country?" On such occasions even after reaching the warmth of his home it still took him the best part of an hour to thaw out. Yes, he decided. He was definiely going to buy a car.

Wapi went over the list of sensible buys in his head. Basically anything British was going to be good for second hand spares and insurance. As he waited for one such example to come through, he noticed a crowd of people rush to surround a car in the line. Out of curiousity Wapi wandered over and discovered it was a silver grey BMW 525 causing the excitement. He looked over the car thinking it was out of his price range this time around. "Monkey wan box bot im 'an short." Coming up behind the BMW in line were two Ford escorts and a Vauxhall so Wapi returned to his place and prepared to bid.

Theauctioneer's voice rang out, "1983 BMW 525, 5 months tax, 1 months MOT, excellent motor car, where will you start the bidding? 600 pounds?" No response. "Come on you lot. That is alotta motor car, someone help me out." A guy with a mobile phone shouted, "450." From there the bids quickly went to 550, 650, then hesitantly to 750 pounds. The bidding dried up again. The auctioneer, doing his best to sell cars in a recession tried to boost the bidding by accepting 10 opund increments. The bids went up to 790 and then stopped again. "790 pounds going once, going twice... Wapi could contain himself no longer. He couldn't believe that no one else was interested at that price. He could buy the car within budget and still have 200 quid left over for servicing and minor repairs.

He shot his arm up to get the auctioneers attention before it was too late. The auctioneer said, "800 pounds going once, going twice, 800 pounds, going, going, gone! Provisionally sold to the coloured bloke on my left." Wapi made his way over to the counter to sign and pay his deposit. He wondered what was meant by "provisionally" sold. As he waited in line he felt a hand on his shoulder, and heard a familiar voice, "Yo!" It was Glenroy and though he offered no hint of apology he was able to explain that provisionally sold meant that the winning bid had not met the minimum reserve price set by the seller. The auctioneers would have to get the sellers acceptance for the transaction to be completed. Wapi would have to leave his deposit, and then check in the next day to see whether his bid was accepted.

Glenroy accompanied him to the auctioneers lot where the BMW would spend the night. After looking the car over thoroughly, he surfaced with a concerned look on his face. "I told you to stick with British motors man." "Yes, but a BM at this price is irresistible," was Wapi's retort. "Well you'd better hope your bid is rejected man, otherwise you're stuck with a whole heap of trouble." Underneath the cars shiny exterior Glenroy had discovered a quantity of rust that would never pass an MOT. That was why such a spanking looking beemer was going so cheap. A voice came over the tannoy, "Mr Johnson, you have bought the BMW." "Well there's no way you can back out now. You might as well go pay the balance," Wapi sloped off to comply, feeling utterly dejected. Glenroy told him that it would be ok. They'd leave the car overnight and come to collect it the next day after insuring it. They would then sell it as soon as possible. After all, a beemer looking like that would tempt many guys into a rash purchase.

The following morning, after a virtually sleepless night of wondering how much this escapade was going to cost him, Wapi waited for Glenroy to pick him up from home. They went to the insurance brokers where the quote was almost exactly the amount of money Wapi had left. At this rate he thought, he'd hardly have enough dosh left to put fuel in his car. He'd likely be dependent on public transport for a while yet. It was with total resignation to his predicament that Wapi paid the insurance broker then went with Glenroy to collect his attractive, high tech lump of rust.

Having collected the keys and located the car, Glenroy piloted it out of the crowded parking lot, to the gate. There he handed over to Wapi and then walked toward his own car. Being unfamiliar with the route, Wapi was to follow Glenroy home. The traffic was heavy on the main road and they waited ages for a suitable gap to open up. Suddenly Glenroy's tyres screeched as he pulled out very quickly. Not wanting to get left behind, Wapi followed suit without looking, trying to stay on his tail. There was an almighty screech of brakes followed by the crunching of metal on metal. Wapi felt his car being dragged several yards down the road and was powerless to prevent or stop it. When it came to a stop he emerged from the car shaking vigorously, as Glenroy ran back to see whether he was ok. Wapi saw that his accident had been with one of the very creatures he'd been trying to avoid, a double decker London bus. The driver jumped down from his cabin and asked him, "You alright mate?" His face was full of concern. "My car...my car..." was all Wapi could muster in reply. "I'm sorry mate," the driver said, "It was all my fault. Don't worry though, our insurance will pay for everything."



Glossary:

Otutu de Waya: It's extremely cold and windy.

Monkey wan box bot im an short: Monkeys can't be boxers because their arms are too short, meaning one doesn't have the tools/equipment necessary to do what one wants to. Alternatively, one has bitten off more than one can chew.

Tube: London ungerground or subway trains

Exhaust Fumes: What comes out of your exhaust pipe (Tailpipe to my north American friends)

MOT: Ministry of Transport Test required to certify roadworthy all cars older than 3 years in the UK. Along with road tax and insurance, the bane of the young male driver in the UK.

Dosh: Money

The Expatriate Episode 4: Wapi In Quandary

"800 quid yeah!" This was far and away Wapi's largest single outlay since he'd been in England. Anyway it was done now. He'd paid 550 pounds for an airline ticket and was also sending 250 pounds spending money. The ticket and cash were for Florence, Wapi's girlfriend of three years whom he'd left behind in Freetown and promised to send for as soon as he was settled in England. Having arrived, Wapi had kept that promise in the back of his mind, putting aside a little money when he started to work, but not conscientiously working towards any particular date. He had preferred to wait until he was firmly established in a good job and had a place of his own. He had not wanted Florence to be subjected to the treatment he was getting from Olivette, his cousin Tola's girlfriend, with whom he was currently staying. Although Tola had told him it was ok for him to stay until he found his feet, Olivette managed to make him feel he was unwelcome at every possible opportunity, without ever blatantly telling him so.

There was of course one further and more major complication. For the last several months or so Wapi had been seeing a girl called Marva and they'd been getting on very well. Extremely well. What's more, Marva carried a British passport, which while not Wapi's primary motivation, was certainly a point in her favour.

During their first few exchanges of correspondence, neither Florence nor Wapi had broached the subject of when she might join him in England. After a while, Florence's replies to his letters had become sporadic, a fact Wapi generously attributed to her not wanting to put him under too much pressure. In the letters he received from his mother, Wapi failed to detect the hints that Mama saw Florence these days, only when Wapi had sent money and Florence came by to collect her share.

Anyway, the situation had changed over the last few months and the volume of letters from Florence had greatly increased. Each successive letter detailed how much she loved wapi and missed Wapi, and couldn't wait to join him. He'd redoubled his efforts and had sent the ticket money, visa money, and spending money. Wapi was more than a little surprised that Olivette had raised no objections when Topla raised with her the imminence of someone else joining their household. In fact it appeared that she'd readily given ger consent and seemed mildly amused by the situation. The closer Florence's arrival date loomed, the more intrigued Olivette seemed intrigued. She constantly harped on how Florence's presence would put a stop to Wapi's sleep outs and teased him that, "you've left her in Freetown for over a year now. Are you sure no one has kicked your sticks?" At this question Wapi had smiled confidently and quoted those passages from her letters that articulated how keen Florence was to join him. " She can't wait to see me," he pointed otut, "my sticks are secure!"

The major worry in Wapi's own mind was not Olivette's "provocation," but his own ability to run two women at the same time in London. This would not be as easy here as it had been back home, particularly as one of the women, Florence, would be living with him and financially dependent on him. In his own way Wapi felt tremendous loyalty to both women. He and Florence had been together before he left home and had made plans for their future. His sending for her was to be phase one of their next stage of development.

Marva on the other hand was a relative newcomer in his considerations and affections. In a short space of time however, they had become very close. Even apart from the feelings that existed between them both, Wapi had been taken into the bosom of Marva's family. Her twin Marcia loved Wapi as much as Marva herself did, and it was her cousin Glenroy, Wapi's friend and workmate that had introduced them in the first place.

Marva's mum Darlene would always make a fuss over Wapi when she saw him and called him "my lovely African boy." She liked his polite manner and what she considered his serious attitude to life. Though she'd introduced herself as Darlene the first time they'd met, Wapi had never called her that, preferring Miss Darlene initially. He had now eveolved to calling her, jovially, mum. The respect he showed, so lacking in those brought up in England, had done a great deal to endear him to the family.

Wapi wondered how all these people would react when they discovered that he'd let them down. Indeed betrayed them. To an honourable guy such as Wapi this was a significant dilemma. There was nothing it seemed, he could do about it. He was caught between a rock and a hard place.

Wapi was leaning over the guard rail trying to get a glimpse through the sliding doors and see who was coming through the customs channel. Most of the arriving passengers had come through and only a few of the small crowd always awaiting a Salone flight remained. Suddenly he saw Florence coming through pushing a heavily laden trolley ahead of her. She was accompanied by a tall smartly dressed guy who seemed to have just as much luggage as she did.

Wapi vaulted the rail and rushed to embrace Florence. He noticed her cool response but put it down to her being shy and tired from her journey. They moved clear of the congested area and Wapi took control of Florence's trolley. As they walked, she explained that the guy who had travelled with her was her cousin. He needed liquid cash and was willing to exchange some travellers cheques for it. She asked him for 200 pounds but Wapi needed 50 for their taxi home. He gave her 150 pounds. Florence asked Wapi to get the taxi while she saw her cousin off and got the travellers cheques from him.

Returning from the cab rank Wapi heard the the public address tannoy, "Would Mr Gabriel Johnson please contact the information desk." Wapi quickened his pace and once at the desk, was informed that a Miss Thomas (Florence) had left a message for him to proceed home where she would contact him later. The information desk attendants could offer a perplexed Wapi no further information.

After searching the terminal for an hour or so, looking in shops, going to both the arrivals and departures areas, and waiting outside the ladies toilets to see if she would emerge, Wapi double checked the message with the information desk , then decided to head home. Florence did not get in touch and it was several days before Wapi discovered what had happened. The guy she'd been with was no cousin at all. He was Florence's boyfriend. And, the father of her expected child. He was here to pursue a Masters degree in Scotland and had brought his girlfriend with him. Wapi reflected that not only had he paid her airfare and given her spending money, but with the money at the airport, had probably covered their train fares to Edinburg as well.

Over the next few weeks an angry, frustrated and humiliated Wapi was consoled by his cousin Tola, though Olivette thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. Wapi was sure she knew far more about the situation than she was letting on.



Glossary:

Quid: British pounds colloquially. Equivalent of bucks for dollars.

Kick Your Sticks: Someone luring your romantic interest away from you.

Provocation: In this context, taking the mickey or merciless teasing. Provocation can lead to a fight. Particularly if someone has just had their sticks kicked.

The Expatriate Episode 3: Let's Get It On.

The bass reverberated through Wapi and his body moved involuntarily. It felt like it would almost rattle the loose change in his pocket. He surveyed the crowd to try and catch sight of Glenroy who had disappeared in search of drinks as soon as they'd arrived. They had only met and begun working together a few weeks ago but Wapi & Glenroy were becoming fast friends. Tonight they were moving in tandem. First a birthday partyhere at Glenroy's cousins place, then later a Salone wedding party to which Wapi had been invited.

Another tune started up and a chorus of whistles and screams went up to greet it. Wapi had loved reggae music back in Freetown but he'd never heard nor felt the music in this way before. This was reggae the London way. The London Jamaican way. Heavy. All around people had their fingers raised in the air and were moving towards the dancefloor. Well, the center of the room really. Wapi was trodden on so severely he feared for his new leather shoes. As he manouvered himself into a newly vacated wall space he saw Glenroy approaching with two cans of Special Brew. He was followed by two gorgeous looking girls and a guy the size of that munku boxer. What's his name? Frank Bruno. Glenroy introduced Wapi to his twin cousins Marva & Marcia, and then to Everton. The explanation of who Everton was got drowned out amid the noise.

Introductions completed Glenroy and Marcia went off to dance leaving Wapi between "Bruno" and Marva. Bruno lit a cigarette, leaned across Wapi and snapped his fingers at Marva gesturing towards the dancefloor. Wapi had friends whose requests for a dance could be somewhat crude but this guy was in a league of his own. Marva's response was to look Bruno up and down several times, and hold her space. "Bruno" realised she wasn't going to acquiesce and made a sucking sound with his teeth and walked off. Presumably to charm some more deserving young lady.

Marva was rocking gently to the music her back against the wall, her shoulder grazing lightly against Wapi. She was small and slim, what his friends would call "pocket-size." She was dressed in black leggings, a short black skirt, and a black top. Her long dreadlocks tied up in The Colours. Wapi noticed that most of the girls were wearing black but none was as stunning as Marva. She turned, catching him staring at her, and gave him the sweetest of smiles. Wapi was in a quandary. He wanted to ask her for a dance but was not prepared to "shoot crab." Besides, he was unsure where "Bruno" fitted in.

Soon the music stopped and the lights were switched on. A large cake was brought in from the kitchen and placed on a table in the center of the room. Glenroy & Marcia returned glistening from their exertions. Marva asked Wapi, "You want a drink?" "Yeah Special Brew." She turned to Glenroy, "Same yeah?" He nodded and the twins set off for the kitchen. "We'll just wait until they cut the cake and them make a move down to your session yeah?" He looked at Wapi who nodded his assent. When the girls reappeared with the drinks, Wapi noticed that Bruno was with them again. They watched the cake cutting formalities and each had a piece when the tray was passed round. Glenroy explained that Wapi was taking him to an African party. "You lot interested?" he asked without consulting Wapi. The twins looked at each other as if to consider. "Nah. We're settled 'ere." Everton's voice was as big as he was. The twins looked livid but said nothing.

Wapi and Glenroy said their goodbyes and headed for the door. Glenroy kept stopping to talk to people and occasionally introduce Wapi to other friends. At one point Marcia passed by and asked Glenroy for his car keys which he handed over without a thought. The guys finally got downstairs to the car and found the twins waiting for them. "Come on Glen man," Marva sounded anxious, "get a move on." During the drive they explained how Everton had taken Marva out for drinks a few weeks ago. He had wanted to "do a ting" with her but Marva was not interested. It seemed however that Everton wasn't a man to take no for an answer and was proving extremely difficult to shake off. "I don't even know why I webnt out with him in the first place," Marva complained. "The man so big and ugly and stupid looking, like like like..." she was lost for words. "Bruno" Wapi interjected and the whole car erupted into laughter. The girls had seated themselves so that Marcia was sitting in the front passenger seat next to her cousin Glenroy, while Marva and Wapi were at the back. As they laughed, Wapi noticed that despite the available space Marva sat quite close to him and wondered if there was any significance to this.

They were in the right area for the party and Martcia was navigating with the aid of an A to Z. With the book right up against her face she said, "It should be second left after the lights." It was. Glenroy dropped his passengers in front of the hall and went to find a parking space. As they waited for him, a group of young ladies emerged from the hall one of whom Wapi recognized immediately. "Wapi Johnson na yu yay dis?" It was Jeredine, an ex-girlfriend. Luk wey yu dry!" Wapi remembered why they hadn't lasted long. He was saved from getting any further into the conversation by the arrival of Glenroy. Suddenly, a scream from just inside the door, "Da Wapi. Hey, yu dae?" De Lenny. Okor broda" was Wapi's response. They hugged and shook each other warmly and Lenny led Wapi's group inside.

Wapi followed Lenny to the bar to get drinks for his friends and learned that they had missed most of the party as the hall was due to close in 5 minutes and only a half bottle of brandy had persuaded the caretaker to hold his fire for another half hour.

Wapi had just returned to his group with the drinks when the intro for the next record came over the sound system. "I've been really tryyyiing baby. trying to hold back these feelings for sooo long. But if you feeel like I feel baby, come on, oh come on ooooh" It was Marvin Gaye's Let's get It On. This was Wapi's golden opportunity. "Bruno" was out for the count having been abandoned at the birthday party and Wapi knew he should do something now. As he thought of his best approach he felt a tug at his sleeve. It was marva, who could hold back her feelings no longer. "Can we dance?" Yes they could as far as Wapi was concerned. They moved gently into each other, minds and bodies in a slow motion harmony. Everyone else was excluded. It remained that way for ballad after ballad, for the next hour until the caretaker prevailed and switched the hall lights on. Neither of them said anything as they came apart.

After taking a few addresses and promising to keep in touch Wapi led the way out. In the car, Glenroy mentioned that they could head to a nice Blues in Vauxhall. Marcia declined as she had to pick up her youth from her mums place. Marva who was now leaning on Wapi's arm said, "I've had enough. Drop me home please Glen." Wapi said nothing. As they pulled up in front of Marva's block she said "Laters to her sister and cousin and got out of the car. She turned to Wapi took a deep breath and said, "You can come in for coffee and a chat if you want. You can phone for a cab when you're ready to leave.." With Marva out on a limb like that Wapi could not hang about being embarrassed. He slid smoothly from the car and bade goodnight to Glenroy and Marcia. His friend gave him a wry smile. Marva took his arm and led him indoors.

Wapi woke up in an unfamiliar flat some hours later. He had just returned from the loo when he heard the doorbell. He froze. Seconds passed. It rang again. Still Marva did not stir. Against his better instincts Wapi tiptoed to the door and looked through the peephole. "Bruno!" He backed away in a reverse tiptoe, eased into the bedroom and gently shut the door. he slid back under the covers. At that moment Marva opened her eyes and saw him. Here smile and embrace were equally warm and Bruno was soon forgotten.



Glossary:

Munku: An idiot, retard or fool. Please don't use if you ever meet the real Frank Bruno.

The Colours: Red, Gold & Green colours of Rastafari.

Shoot Crab: A refusal of a dance, a kiss, a boy girl relationship, or any type of embarrassing refusal.

Na yu yay dis: Literally, "are these your eyes?" A greeting for someone you haven't seen in a long time.

Luk wey yu dry: "My how thin you are." Most often said in a derogatory tone.

Okor broda: Brother og the groom.

Blues: An all night dance usually held in unlicensed premises and musically dominated by reggae.

Laters: Goodnight, goodbye, see you soon, see you later.

Loo: Toilet or bathroom(US).

The Expatriate Episode 2: Job Hunting

Wapi watched his cousin Tola leave the flat in a hurry with no breakfast. Again! It was 7:05AM and Tola had 5 minutes to make it to the bus stop if he was to avoid being late. As he ate his kol res Wapi thanked the Lord it was Saturday and HE didn't have to set off for work on an empty stomach.

He heard Olivette, Tola's girlfriend making morning noises in the bathroom. Tola must be going soft in the head. "Me Wapi have a live-in girlfriend and still leave home without breakfast. leh fol kick me!" Wapi was not very keen on Miss Olivette Coker. He had known it was a priority to start earning money and paying his way in the household. Heck, he'd even contributed for food from the dwindling sterling he'd brought when he arrived from Freetown several weeks ago. This had not stopped Miss Coker from jumping the gun and setting up an early morning cleaners job fro him. Without even consulting him.

Wapi did not in any way feel the job was beneath him, but 4:30AM??? "leh fol...oh never mind." The early morning rising had been playing havoc with his body clock for a few weeks now. He was determined to quit the job at the earliest opportunity and knew that the best way was to set himself up with an alternative. Olivette entered the kitchen and intruded on his thoughts. You only had to look at her face to see that she was one of those Fussiness-Cokers from Robert Street. Wapi knew her sisters Yvette & Antoinette. He had warned Tola against getting involved with anyone from that family, but to no avail. He finished his rice, washed his bowl, and returned to his room leaving Miss Coker to her kitchen.

Against Tola's advice Wapi was going after a pub job in nearby Bermondsey this evening. He was responding to a sign he'd been seeing in the pub window since Wednesday, en route to and from his cleaning job. For now though, he was going to enjoy a luxury he'd never had back home in Freetown, and return to bed.

At 6:30PM Wapi arrived at the British Bulldog pub looking smart in a jacket and tie he'd liberated from Tola's wardrobe when Olivette was out. He presented himself at the bar and told the barmaid why he was there. She looked very uncomfortable though Wapi failed to notice, and told him the manager was out. She advised him to leave his name and number so the manager could call him and set up an appointment for interview. As Wapi was so keen and he didn't know whether Olivette would pass on a phone message, he decided to wait. He ordered what he had recently learned to refer to as lager rather than just beer, and looked around what he hoped would soon be his place of employment. The clientele was almost exclusively white and male. Several of the younger men were large types with short cropped hair. Their fashion appeared to be too-short jeans, with braces and tee shirts, and Doc marten bovver boots. As he glanced curiously at them Wapi received stony hard stares and glares in return. The only other Black face in the place was a well-turned out young man who came over and introduced himself as Glenroy Phillips and bought Wapi a drink. He invited Wapi to join him at a table for a chat. wapi accepted and they took a table by the jukebox, over to the left of the dartboard.

It was at this point that a few of the lads at the bar started making animal noises. Monkey sound to be precise. Four of them also decided to have a game of darts. Glenroy was busy trying to persuade Wapi to buy an investment plan from him. Wapi was having a hard time convinving Glenroy that he couldn't afford asny monthly payments at the moment. As they spoke it slowly dawned on them that they might be better off sitting elsewhere. Either the darts players were of an extremely poor standard or something else was up, because more darts were landing close to their table than were sticking in the dart board. Just as they prepared to move, a huge man in a suit approached their table and identified himself as the manager. The standard of darts improved immediately.

The manager asked which of the two gentlemen was Gabriel Adolphus Johnson and Wapi responded. The manager told Wapi that he had filled the two vacancies for bar staff earlier in the week. He apologised that the barmaid had not made Wapi aware of this fact and he'd had to wait so long, and made a show of removing the advert from the window. During the brief conversation the monkey sounds had ceased. Glenroy however, was alive to the situation now and recognized that the atmosphere could move from dangerous to injurious. As he explained to Wapi that he thought they should leave, the monkey and ape impressions started up again. Wapi accepted Glenroys offer of a ride and they both headed for the door. The closer they got to the exit the louder the cacophony until the two of them could barely keep from running. The manager, seeing that a few of the lads intended to follow them out to the car park, thought of how bad a case of GBH on premises would affect his license renewal and intervened. "Cheeky coons," he said at the top of his voice, "Drinks are on the house lads." The lads couldn't resist such a generous offer and returned to the bar, letting the coons be. Once out in the car park Glenroy and Wapi moved rapidly to the car and Glenroy burned rubber out of the place.

On the journey home Wapi heard that Glenroy's boss always wanted more investment advisers especially those from ethnic minority backgrounds. By the time Glenroy was dropping Wapi off he had promised to pick him up at 8AM on Monday morning and take him to the office. He was sure Wapi wopuld be offered a job and training if he came dressed as he was now.

Later that evening, Wapi blessed his luck as he was able to tell Tola that he was set to become an Investment Adviser on Monday and only had to work a weeks notice at his cleaning job. He made no mention of the pub episode. Elsewhere in London Glenroy Phillips was telling his girlfriend that if he had to go in on Monday with no sales to show, at least he'd be bringing in a new recruit.

En route to his cleaning job early in the morning on Monday, Wapi glanced nervously at the British Bulldog pub. He almost fell off his bus seat when he noticed that there, large as life in the pub window, was the sign he'd personally seen the manager remove on Saturday night. The one advertising vacancies for bar staff.

Glossary:

Kol Res: Yesterday's rice. Usually eaten with hot soup the next morning. Particularly reccommended before church.

Leh Fol kick me: Other variations include a) Leh fol drive taxi and b) leh fol win election. Equates somewhat to Pigs might fly in English, indicating the unlikelihood of an event or situation occurring. It should be noted that variation b) is not as unlikely as it might initially appear.

Fussiness: In this context bossy & aloof. Someone who always needs to be in charge.

GBH: Grievous Bodily Harm.

The Expatriate Episode 1: The Journey

"Things are already looking up," Wapi thought to himself as he watched the stewardess walk down the aisle. He had just discovered that beer on the aircraft was complimentary, which meant he could have as much as he wanted, and this came as a most welcome surprise. Though Terry Graves had promised to "see him alright" when he arrived in England, he preferred to keep hold of as much of his foreign exchange as possible until then.

Wapi felt he had every right to his current euphoria. A smile brightened his mischevious face as his mind went back to some of the events that led to his current situation...UK bound, at last. It had been a monumantal struggle to collect and keep several hundred thousand leones together, and even more difficult to convert it to hard currency on the black market.

"Yeah man." he reached up for the button to summon the stewardess and order another beer, but switched on the reading light instead. He immediately switched it off and looked around sheepishly to see whether his gaffe had been observed. He found the right button. "Can you serve me another beer?" he asked the stewardess when she responded. A lingering suspicion that there might yet be a bill for all this beer made his voice hesitant, but he was worrying unneccessarily and he accepted the free beer and returned to his thoughts.

2)Wapi reflected on the good fortune that had led to him becoming acquainted with Terry Graves. It was a classic example of the luck that had earned him his nickname. At school, all he had needed to do was pick up the dice, shake and roll, then...Wapi! he'd won again. This uncanny luck that followed him all of his life had led to him quickly becoming a recognized face to all pupils at Prince of Wales School, and rendered the name Gabriel Adolphus Johnson obsolete. Everyone that knew him called him Wapi. Even his mother held out only until he reached Form 3. It was when one of his teachers had written in a report card, "Wapi must try harder," that she had finally given up the struggle. Up until then she had stubbornly insisted when his schoolfriends dropped by the house, "My son is Gabriel, there is no Wapi here!"

Wapi still couldn't understand why an ordinary English bloke, as Terry called himself, was so willing to render such help to someone like him, but he had long since learned not to question his luck. It had never let him down. He didn't know why Terry had engaged him in conversation at the Lagoonda or how they had come to be discussing the difficulties of obtaining a UK visa. However, at the end of the night and three pints short of a carton of Star beer, Wapi & Terry had become such grat friends that Terry had promised to write Wapi a letter of invitation whenever he wanted to travel. In fact Terry told Wapi he was welcome to stay at his place in London, until he found his feet.

3)The plane was little more than an hour away from London Gatwick airport. Wapi felt a glow of pride at the fact that he was baout to join that rank of Sierra Leoneans that had landed at this most revered of airports. Would he suffer the same fate as thousands before him? To land, pass through the airport and never see his homeland again? Home again. Home again. When shall I see my home...? He realised he was singing aloud.

Thoughts of those he'd left behind filled Wapi's head. He could already see the difference between the western world and the third world. Here he was almost at Gatwick while Mama and Florence (the girlfriend that his mother knew) had still not got back to Freetown after seeing him off at Lungi airport.

The plane dived steeply and seemed to accelerate. By the rection of the other passengers it seemed Wapi had nothing to fear. They all seemed calm, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Wapi played it cool.

Ding Dong! Then the voice of the pilot came over the intercom. Wapi was convinced now that there was trouble. He'd had his doubts about whether his luck would travel with him across water. He was sure now that it hadn't. All that trouble just to die less than an hour from England. "Yeah. Savisman Cry." His panic was misplaced and premature as the announcement turned out to about starting the descent into Gatwick. Wapi needed no second telling to fasten his seat belt. In fact when the stewardess came past checking the passengers, she advised him to loosen it a little so he could breathe properly.

4)At last they were on the ground and slowing down. The last forty minutes or so had been hell for Wapi. No matter how badly a poda poda was being driven, you could jump off if you'd had enough, and there were few better masters of Jamawass than Wapi on the Wilkinson Road. These airplanes were a different matter. Once you were on, you couldn't jump off. Wapi felt like he was the only person aboard travelling for the first time. Everyone else seened so sure of themselves. The aircraft had come to a stop and most of the other passengers were on their feet and reaching into the overhead lockers to retrieve their hand luggage. Wapi reached for the hold-all beneath his chair. He didn't have much luggage. Just one suitcase in the hold and this one piece of hand luggage. He joined the line shuffling towards the exit and the standard "good day, thanks for flying with us" routine. With the doors now open he could feel a hint of the cold air outside on his face. He was not concerned as he had warned in advance so he had a good sweater and a thick jacket. These items and a scarf had been left behind by his cousin Tola when he'd holidayed in Freetown the previous December. Wapi felt ready for anything the November night could throw at him. He wasn't. As he got to the exit door the cold air hit him. Dealt a palpable blow to his system. "Lord have mercy!" He was shivering immediately and his nose was running. All this in the short distance from the top of the stairs and the shuttle bus to the terminal. He realised he was going to have to rethink his whole strategy towards winter.

The airport itself was mind blowing. Such a massive construction with so many people milling about, but none of them offering to carry your luggage for you or see you through Customs & Immigration like at Lungi. What a building! Moving walkways, escalators, electronic noticeboards. When will Salone develop to this standard? That unanswerable question had taxed many minds greater than Wapi's.

5)Wapi was walking slowly towards what he knew to be his greatest test so far. Getting past immigration. He hoped that Terry Graves was outside waiting for him. Terry had asked him not to let his cousin Tola know of his arrival until they got to Terry's place. He had been quite concerned that Wapi should go straight to his place and stay for a couple of days before letting anyone know he was around. Although Wapi didn't know Terry's reasons, he was happy not to question these instructions from someone that had contributed to his airfare, helped with obtaining his visa, and promised more money on arrival in London. The only suspicion Wapi had was perhaps that Terry was gay and might be expecting a physical favor or return for his efforts. Wapi allayed his fears by recalling the voracious appetite with which Terry had displayed with the Lumley based kolonko's.

As he approached his turn at the immigration desk, Wapi reached into the holdall for his documents. All he had in that holdall were his documents, and the package Terry had asked him to collect from his friend Simeon Cole at Kingtom. Wapi had taken special care of this parcel. He did not know the significance of the package to either Simeon Cole or Terry, but as it was the only favor his European benefactor had asked of him, he was more than happy to oblige. Furthermore, if you were able to get involved with the likes of Sim Cole then you were starting to move with the big boys.

It was now Wapi's turn at the counter. He put his documents on the table as the middle-aged white man looked at him, hoping to find a discrepancy between his passport photo and his physical features. There was none sufficient to arouse his suspicion. As it was the last flight of his double shift, the officer was not keen to embark on a course of action that would involve a deportation order and the attendant mountain of paperwork. Had the officer not been in this frame of mind he might have made more of the fact that Wapi, a low level civil servant, was embarking on a two month holiday in mid November. Wapi moved on.

6)After retrieving his suitcase Wapi moved towards Customs. He followed the crowd walking towards the green Nothing To Declare channel. Ahead of him he recognized someone he knew vaguely from Freetown. In fact he'd seen him a few days ago. "He was leaving Sim Cole's office as I arrived to collect Terry's package," Wapi recalled. "Tayo Dawson, that's his name."

Tayo had been stopped and now had a number of Customs officers sifting vigorously through his belongings. Another officer, a female, stopped Wapi and asked to examine his luggage though her attention was clearly distracted by what was happening at the other table. Wapi's officer had her hand on the package for Terry Graves when the commotion increased nearby. She was summoned to a huddled conference with her colleagues. Within seconds Customs officers were everywhere and Tayo Dawson, with a look of complete bewilderment on his face, was hauled off behind the screens along with his two suitcases. It was all quiet again as suddenly as the excitement had begun.

Wapi was puzzled. He stood waiting for a few moments, then put Terry's package back in the holdall, picked up his suitcase, and headed for the exit. What he did not know was that for Terry Graves, it had been an average kind of day. Of his two unwitting drug couriers, one was facing a significant stretch in prison, then deportation, and the other, Wapi, was through, free and clear.

Glossary:

Savisman: Streetwise, wideboy, hustler, are all possible English interpretations of the word.

Poda Poda: Privately owned passenger mini buses that ply set routes. A relatively cheap method of commuting. Akin to Jamaican Mammy Lorries.

Jamawass: (The German Wash) The art of entering or exiting a Poda Poda while it is in motion.