The Expatriate Episode 2: Job Hunting

Wapi watched his cousin Tola leave the flat in a hurry with no breakfast. Again! It was 7:05AM and Tola had 5 minutes to make it to the bus stop if he was to avoid being late. As he ate his kol res Wapi thanked the Lord it was Saturday and HE didn't have to set off for work on an empty stomach.

He heard Olivette, Tola's girlfriend making morning noises in the bathroom. Tola must be going soft in the head. "Me Wapi have a live-in girlfriend and still leave home without breakfast. leh fol kick me!" Wapi was not very keen on Miss Olivette Coker. He had known it was a priority to start earning money and paying his way in the household. Heck, he'd even contributed for food from the dwindling sterling he'd brought when he arrived from Freetown several weeks ago. This had not stopped Miss Coker from jumping the gun and setting up an early morning cleaners job fro him. Without even consulting him.

Wapi did not in any way feel the job was beneath him, but 4:30AM??? "leh fol...oh never mind." The early morning rising had been playing havoc with his body clock for a few weeks now. He was determined to quit the job at the earliest opportunity and knew that the best way was to set himself up with an alternative. Olivette entered the kitchen and intruded on his thoughts. You only had to look at her face to see that she was one of those Fussiness-Cokers from Robert Street. Wapi knew her sisters Yvette & Antoinette. He had warned Tola against getting involved with anyone from that family, but to no avail. He finished his rice, washed his bowl, and returned to his room leaving Miss Coker to her kitchen.

Against Tola's advice Wapi was going after a pub job in nearby Bermondsey this evening. He was responding to a sign he'd been seeing in the pub window since Wednesday, en route to and from his cleaning job. For now though, he was going to enjoy a luxury he'd never had back home in Freetown, and return to bed.

At 6:30PM Wapi arrived at the British Bulldog pub looking smart in a jacket and tie he'd liberated from Tola's wardrobe when Olivette was out. He presented himself at the bar and told the barmaid why he was there. She looked very uncomfortable though Wapi failed to notice, and told him the manager was out. She advised him to leave his name and number so the manager could call him and set up an appointment for interview. As Wapi was so keen and he didn't know whether Olivette would pass on a phone message, he decided to wait. He ordered what he had recently learned to refer to as lager rather than just beer, and looked around what he hoped would soon be his place of employment. The clientele was almost exclusively white and male. Several of the younger men were large types with short cropped hair. Their fashion appeared to be too-short jeans, with braces and tee shirts, and Doc marten bovver boots. As he glanced curiously at them Wapi received stony hard stares and glares in return. The only other Black face in the place was a well-turned out young man who came over and introduced himself as Glenroy Phillips and bought Wapi a drink. He invited Wapi to join him at a table for a chat. wapi accepted and they took a table by the jukebox, over to the left of the dartboard.

It was at this point that a few of the lads at the bar started making animal noises. Monkey sound to be precise. Four of them also decided to have a game of darts. Glenroy was busy trying to persuade Wapi to buy an investment plan from him. Wapi was having a hard time convinving Glenroy that he couldn't afford asny monthly payments at the moment. As they spoke it slowly dawned on them that they might be better off sitting elsewhere. Either the darts players were of an extremely poor standard or something else was up, because more darts were landing close to their table than were sticking in the dart board. Just as they prepared to move, a huge man in a suit approached their table and identified himself as the manager. The standard of darts improved immediately.

The manager asked which of the two gentlemen was Gabriel Adolphus Johnson and Wapi responded. The manager told Wapi that he had filled the two vacancies for bar staff earlier in the week. He apologised that the barmaid had not made Wapi aware of this fact and he'd had to wait so long, and made a show of removing the advert from the window. During the brief conversation the monkey sounds had ceased. Glenroy however, was alive to the situation now and recognized that the atmosphere could move from dangerous to injurious. As he explained to Wapi that he thought they should leave, the monkey and ape impressions started up again. Wapi accepted Glenroys offer of a ride and they both headed for the door. The closer they got to the exit the louder the cacophony until the two of them could barely keep from running. The manager, seeing that a few of the lads intended to follow them out to the car park, thought of how bad a case of GBH on premises would affect his license renewal and intervened. "Cheeky coons," he said at the top of his voice, "Drinks are on the house lads." The lads couldn't resist such a generous offer and returned to the bar, letting the coons be. Once out in the car park Glenroy and Wapi moved rapidly to the car and Glenroy burned rubber out of the place.

On the journey home Wapi heard that Glenroy's boss always wanted more investment advisers especially those from ethnic minority backgrounds. By the time Glenroy was dropping Wapi off he had promised to pick him up at 8AM on Monday morning and take him to the office. He was sure Wapi wopuld be offered a job and training if he came dressed as he was now.

Later that evening, Wapi blessed his luck as he was able to tell Tola that he was set to become an Investment Adviser on Monday and only had to work a weeks notice at his cleaning job. He made no mention of the pub episode. Elsewhere in London Glenroy Phillips was telling his girlfriend that if he had to go in on Monday with no sales to show, at least he'd be bringing in a new recruit.

En route to his cleaning job early in the morning on Monday, Wapi glanced nervously at the British Bulldog pub. He almost fell off his bus seat when he noticed that there, large as life in the pub window, was the sign he'd personally seen the manager remove on Saturday night. The one advertising vacancies for bar staff.

Glossary:

Kol Res: Yesterday's rice. Usually eaten with hot soup the next morning. Particularly reccommended before church.

Leh Fol kick me: Other variations include a) Leh fol drive taxi and b) leh fol win election. Equates somewhat to Pigs might fly in English, indicating the unlikelihood of an event or situation occurring. It should be noted that variation b) is not as unlikely as it might initially appear.

Fussiness: In this context bossy & aloof. Someone who always needs to be in charge.

GBH: Grievous Bodily Harm.