The Expatriate Episode 8: A Hard Days Night

Wapi was in a foul mood. It was raining and it was cold. Very cold. He drove into the parking area of the estate where he lived and as usual for a Sunday, there were no spaces available. Every Sunday evening these Adejobi's would hold a service in the Tenants Association Hall and fill all the parking spaces. It really pissed Wapi off. Why couldn't they hold their services elsewhere? He was determined not to park outside on the main road, so he pulled up and waited for someone to leave.

All Wapi wanted was to get indoors, take a hot bath then maybe get some food, but most of all he wanted to get to bed. He'd left home at six this morning in order to catch a train to Watford in time for a company training day. Being a Financial Services Consultant he was always either working or attending meetings and seminars to do with work. One of his least favourite aspectsof the job was the frequent scheduling of courses ans seminars on Sundays. Although unafraid of hard work, Wapi had sought permission to miss this particular session and stay home with his girlfriend Marva who was due to deliver their first child in just over a week. Permission had not been denied, just granted in such a way that made him realise it was in his best interest to turn up.

It had seemed a pleasant day when Wapi had left home in the morning. So much so that he'd left his overcoat in the back of his car at the station in London and boarded the train in just his business suit. Several hours later when leaving the training centre, it was much colder. He'd had to wait a half hour for a bus in Watford, and a further twenty minutes for a train once at the station, and the cold had cut right through him. His ears fingers and toes felt brittle with cold. The worst though was that he had two cavities he'd not yet taken to the dentist. The northerly wind had discovered these and taken up residence in them. Wapi wished himself dead. He cursed himself for breaking the cardinal riule: "Don't ever trust the weather in England."

A lady opened the door to her hatchback and got in. Wapi watched dispassionately as she struggled to get out of the space. When she'd gone, he parked and went indoors. The relief was enormous. Whatever he could say about council estates, Wapi was all for the efficient heating system in this one. The heating, and Marva's warm embrace, did much to combat the chill in his bones.

"Go to bed Wapi." He opened his eyes. last he could remember he'd bathed and snuggled up to Marva Plus (as he called her ever since her "bump" became obvious) on the sofa, and she'd been telling him how excited her mother was about her forthcoming grandchild. "Grandma" had spent a small fortune on things for the baby and would have induced birth now if she had her own way, such was her impatience. Wapi had meant to listen. In fact he had been listening and had no clue at which point he'd dozed off or for how long. He didn't argue. He hauled himself off to bed leaving Marva watching an episode of Prisoner Cell Block H.

Wapi had barely been sleeping half an hour when Marva eased into bed beside him. He'd regained enough consciousness to make room for her and was heading rapidly back to dreamland. "Wapi..." Her voice was gentle but there was a note in it that brought him wide awake instantly. His head cleared and he knew this was all systems go. He got up and switched on the light. marva got out of bed again and stood looking a little bewildered. The bottom half of her nightie was soaked as was part of the bed where she'd lain. "Your...you..." croaked Wapi. "My waters broke," Marva reassured him. Wapi dived for the wardrobe emerging with Marva's packed weekend case. It had been ready since their ante-natal class on preparedness. "How are you feeling? Hurry up." Wapi was guiding Marva towards the door. "Wapi wait. Let me get out of this wet thing."

Wapi was anxious to get going but remembered the advice his friend Glenroy had given him. "Man, when they are in labour, you weanna keep your mouth shut son. Just keep it shut." Wapi respected this advice as it came from a man who, though younger than him, had already fathered four children. He might have been less impressed had he realised that Glenroy had been nowhere near the maternity ward for any of those four births.

Wapi didn't really notice whether there was traffic on the roads. He had no fear of being pulled over for speeding tonight. What cop could possibly ticket him under such circumstances? During the journey he went over in his mind all they'd learned and discussed over the last few months. He and Marva had been to all the ante-natal classes and the male supporting role had been greatly emphasised. They were both keen on as natural a birth as possible, with as little technology as was safe. As he drove, he'd looked over at Marva and ask, "Are you feeling ok?" or "What's happening now?" or "Why are you so quiet.?" Marva almost felt sorry for him. Almost. "Men,' she thought. "God knew what he was doing by limiting their contribution to the conception part." They had no clue at this stage of proceedings. She hoped he would calm down when he saw his daughter. Wapi would prefer a boy, Marva a girl but neither felt too strongly about it. They had both agreed to avoid scans though so they wouldn't know until the child was born.

Labour itself seemed a tremendous letdown for Wapi. The adrenalin that had kept him going began to lose effect by hour four. By 5AM he was tired, frustrated and irritable. He knew Marva wasn't prolonging things delivberately but he sure wished she'd get a move on. He was sure that if childbirth had been a male function, men would have evolved more efficient ways of doing it.

Marva had now begun to feel a great deal of discomfort and was making alot of noise. Wapi heard the midwife offer "something to ease the pain." He had felt quite useless throughout and saw an opportunity to be of service. He surprised himself with the boldness with which he approached the medic, " We've discussed that and we don't want anythi..." "Drugs, give me the damn drugs!" The words were coming from Marva but the voice didn't sound like hers. It was a voice that brooked no argument. Wapi remembered Glenroy's advice and kept his mouth shut.

The medical staff now seemed to have escalated their activity around Marva. Wapi was up by her head, holding her hand. Actually it was Marva holding his hand. Very tightly. Wapi decided it was not the right time to complain of his discomfort, and took the pain like a man. Fingernails and all.

"push now! Come on push!" The midwife was calm and encouraging. "I can see the head. There's a good girl. Now push!" Marva sounded like a mad woman. Wapi could not believe the colourful language that was coming out of her. He was embarrassed for her in front of all these people. He was surprised that none of them batted an eyelid.

The midwife raised herself from her working position with a parcel in her hands and addressed Wapi. Wapi felt faint. "Would you like to cut your daughters cord Mr. Johnson?" Wapi nodded and tried to answer but his voice wasn't working. he cut the cord and felt fainter still. He flopped into a chair at the side breathing heavily. The medics were still busy and Marva was still cursing. Wapi was puzzled. Wasn't the child born already? The midwife emerged again. With another parcel. Wapi passed out where he sat.

When he came to, the medics were still busy at one end of Marva. At the other she wore a big if exhausted smileand had a child in each arm. Meet your daughter Mr. Johnson," she said, "and meet your son." "Well done, " Wapi said insufficiently, "Thanks. Hello Taiwo, hello Kehinde. Una kabor." Then the tears welled in his eyes.